Post by Felix Rivera on Sept 21, 2006 3:59:15 GMT -5
(ooc note:imagine the narrator's voice is that guy from NFL films, ha-ha)
THE ORIGIN OF...FELIX F.RIVERA
the "f" stands for fuckin'
*=translated from Spanish
Felix is seen leaping over the table and starts to CHOKE the man. It at least 3 minutes before he's finally forced off and tossed outside.
The End
THE ORIGIN OF...FELIX F.RIVERA
the "f" stands for fuckin'
NARRATOR
Felix Fuckin Rivera was born to a one legged-bitch of a mother in the back of a 1975 ford pinto. She died that night, because his father was an idiot born with one testicle and half a brain.
Racing toward the local hospital, in an effort to save on gas, he took a shortcut that he paid five whole dollars to know about and ended up getting them lost...and out of gas.
When questioned later about why his wife died, he had this to say:
Felix Fuckin Rivera was born to a one legged-bitch of a mother in the back of a 1975 ford pinto. She died that night, because his father was an idiot born with one testicle and half a brain.
Racing toward the local hospital, in an effort to save on gas, he took a shortcut that he paid five whole dollars to know about and ended up getting them lost...and out of gas.
When questioned later about why his wife died, he had this to say:
Mr.Rivera.
<Well its not like I'm a fucking doctor, shit. Blame this little bastard, not me.>*
<Well its not like I'm a fucking doctor, shit. Blame this little bastard, not me.>*
*=translated from Spanish
NARRATOR
None-the-less, Felix was born relatively healthy but found himself in the care of only his father who, as we've previously established, is an idiot. In what can only be described as "the smartest thing he'll ever do", his father moved back home with his parents, Felix in tow. Felix would spend the earliest years of his life in their care, his father disappearing and reappearing randomly until he was 5 years old where he apparently meets a 60 year old whore from New York and decides to move with her, looking to finally get off this "Third world island" as he put it.
None-the-less, Felix was born relatively healthy but found himself in the care of only his father who, as we've previously established, is an idiot. In what can only be described as "the smartest thing he'll ever do", his father moved back home with his parents, Felix in tow. Felix would spend the earliest years of his life in their care, his father disappearing and reappearing randomly until he was 5 years old where he apparently meets a 60 year old whore from New York and decides to move with her, looking to finally get off this "Third world island" as he put it.
FELIX (5yrs old)
<are you leaving papa?>
<are you leaving papa?>
Mr.Rivera.
<Yes, I'm going to New York City!>
<Yes, I'm going to New York City!>
FELIX (5yrs old)
<am I going with you?>
<am I going with you?>
Mr.Rivera.
<Ha-Ha>
*pause*
<Hell no.>
<Ha-Ha>
*pause*
<Hell no.>
NARRATOR
With that his father was gone, off to have another illegitimate child before its all said and done. Felix's life turned into one of violence, kicking the ever-loving shit out of any and everyone who looked at him wrong. Hoping the channel his anger into something constructive, he was introduced to legendary Puerto Rican wrestler Carlos Colon. While his time was brief, he learned alot from the aging legend before he was tossed out for being a complete sadist.
With that his father was gone, off to have another illegitimate child before its all said and done. Felix's life turned into one of violence, kicking the ever-loving shit out of any and everyone who looked at him wrong. Hoping the channel his anger into something constructive, he was introduced to legendary Puerto Rican wrestler Carlos Colon. While his time was brief, he learned alot from the aging legend before he was tossed out for being a complete sadist.
FELIX (15yrs old)
<Screw you old man! I'll be back, I'll cut you so deep you'll leak rust!>
<Screw you old man! I'll be back, I'll cut you so deep you'll leak rust!>
NARRATOR
Clearly wit isn't one of his strengths, but his talent for violence was undeniable. In the meantime he would train with his cousin, Scott Acid, who in just a few years would become a world champion in his own right. The two weren't particularly close, like most boys, the two bonded over a common interest in combat. Scott eventually went on to continue his own career while Felix continued to partake in street fights both above and under ground to make ends meet.
Clearly wit isn't one of his strengths, but his talent for violence was undeniable. In the meantime he would train with his cousin, Scott Acid, who in just a few years would become a world champion in his own right. The two weren't particularly close, like most boys, the two bonded over a common interest in combat. Scott eventually went on to continue his own career while Felix continued to partake in street fights both above and under ground to make ends meet.
PROMOTER DUDE
<Felix, you're one of the best new fighters I've seen in a long time...but I just cant sign you to a contract. You're a liability, you've put at least 7 of my guys in a hospital. Do you under stand?>
<Felix, you're one of the best new fighters I've seen in a long time...but I just cant sign you to a contract. You're a liability, you've put at least 7 of my guys in a hospital. Do you under stand?>
Felix is seen leaping over the table and starts to CHOKE the man. It at least 3 minutes before he's finally forced off and tossed outside.
NARRATOR
Broken, but not defeated, its at least another 2 years before he is discovered and signed by upstart promotion; The Extreme Wrestling Federation. Felix shocks the world when, in his first professional televised match, he captures the TEWF Junior Heavyweight championship. His pension for violence, years spent honing a street fighting style and bit of wrestling training made him a formidable opponent for any man.
Thats why he's gonna own you, Mister Mickey Swan. Because it is you...that is the noob. The Puerto Rican Wreckin' Machine is going to stomp you're ass.
Broken, but not defeated, its at least another 2 years before he is discovered and signed by upstart promotion; The Extreme Wrestling Federation. Felix shocks the world when, in his first professional televised match, he captures the TEWF Junior Heavyweight championship. His pension for violence, years spent honing a street fighting style and bit of wrestling training made him a formidable opponent for any man.
Thats why he's gonna own you, Mister Mickey Swan. Because it is you...that is the noob. The Puerto Rican Wreckin' Machine is going to stomp you're ass.
FELIX
Ha-ha, Believe it, puto!
Ha-ha, Believe it, puto!
The End
